29 de febrero de 2008

El fisgón

Hubo un tiempo que salia poco de mi casa, porque decian que la zona estaba cada vez mas y mas peligrosa. En realidad era mitad por eso y mitad por pereza. El tema es que un dia me canso de mirar las manchas de huemdad y decidi retomar mi vida social... Nada dificil. Amigas parranderas siempre dispuestas a embriagarse voluntariamente. No creia que sea peligroso salir caminando de mi casa por la noche, en realidad soy de las que creen que no pasa hasta que te pasa. Asique camine hasta lo de mi amiga Luli y ahi esperamos a que llegaran todas. Salimos, tomamos, reimos, gritamos y bailamos como si el tiempo de nuestros dias dorados no hubieran pasado. A la vuelta, ya todas lo suficientemente borrachas para divagar y balbucear toda la noche, volviemos en el auto, esta vez a todas nos dieron un aventon. Yo era la tercera. La verdad es que no tenia miedo de nada, eran simplemente rumores los peligros que se alzaban fuera del calor de las chimeneas prendidas, pero cuando llegue a la puerta de mi casa me di cuenta que no era asi. Desde el auto no lo habia visto porque lo tapaba un arbol, pero ni bien hube avanzado lo suficiente lo vi. Era extraño y espantoso. Me miraba burlon, y un poco amenazador, luego dio la vuelta y trato de entrar en la casa. El miedo me paralizo y empeze a gritar antes que mi amiga se hubiera alejado lo suficiente como para no escucharme. Freno el auto en seco y miro hacia atras, me vio como corria lejos de el alcance de esa cosa horrorsa. Se bajo del auto y rio. Le tiro una piedra y el salio corriendo hacia mi. Yo segui gritando tratando de alejarme lo mas posible de su paso, hasta que finalmente se perdio de vista en la oscuridad. Mis amigas se fueron y yo pude entrar a casa, cautelosamente para comprobar de que no hubiera otro dentro. Definitivamente la zona se habia vuelto mas peligrosa. Quien sabe si eso no era una trampa de un secuestrador para mantenerme fuera mas tiempo y poder raptarme sin problemas. Despues de todo, yo no lo hubiera tocado, y tampoco le hubiera abierto la puerta, al sapo.

28 de febrero de 2008

Crimenes perfectos

En este dia gris que no me permite ir a correr, voy a hacer algo productivo de mi vida

* Ella lo veía en el gimnasio y cuando salía de su edificio con su Beagle para llevarlo a pasear por la plaza. El la veía en el gimnasio, en la calle, en la plaza, en el techo antes de dormir, a su lado con los ojos entrecerrados, en sus sueños cuando dormía, en el trabajo, y hasta en la cafetería donde almorzaba. Era algo que simplemente no podia sacarse de la cabeza. Esa chica lo volvia loco y estaba decidido a conquistarla. Empezo por saludos extremadamente incomodos en el gimnasio. Despues "sin querer" le tiro un poquito de agua. De a poco fueron conociendose a fuerza de frasecitas y a medida que los meses pasaban descubrian cosas el uno del otro que resultaban atractivas para ambos. Un dia salieron del gimnasio juntos, fueron caminando por la plaza y se sentaron en un banco a conversar sin todo el ruido de las pesas y la musica. Quedaron en verse a la noche en el departamente de ella. Sara, por cierto, cocinaba un pollo con cous-cous excelente, es mas, dependiendo de la forma en que lo condimentara, era su arma secreta para atraer o repeler a los hombres. Esa noche le puso un poco de canela y un poco de picante... es afrodisiaco, dicen. De postre, mousse de chocolate y arandanos. Uma, dos botellas de champagne. En realidad, fue todo culpa de las velas, que si hubiera estado la luz prendida nada de esto hubiera pasado. Pero paso y desde esa noche mantuvieron una relacion un tanto turbulenta, donde ella siempre era celosa y el no sabia como hacer para complacerle todos sus gustos y caprichos. Por supuesto que al principio, nada lo hacia mas feliz que mimarla y los celos de ella no hacian mas que divertirlo y hacerlo querer ser mejor. Pero poco a poco el fue desgastandose, mas porque tenia que combinar a su novia con el trabajo y la carrerala cual le demandaba mucho tiempo y fuerzas. Habia semanas en que se venia una o dos veces por eso. Ella solo estudiaba y no demasiado ya que no lo necesitaba y por eso demandaba mas tiempo del que el realmente podia dedicarle. A los cinco meses empezaron a tener pequeñas discuciones por cosas tontas, y despues discuciones enormes y peleas extravagantes por las mismas cosas tontas. Y despues se reconciliaban como si nada, olvidando todo lo que se habian dicho dos o tres noches atras. Asi pasaron tres meses nefastos en donde ninguno de los dos tenia ya el poder de controlar la relacion. Una noche que estaban cenando en la casa de el, ella le hizo una escena de celos bastante desagradable por una de sus compañeras de estudio. Las voces empezaron a subir de todo enseguida y mas rapido todavia se estaban peleando como nunva antes. Salieron a la luz los reproches de ambos. Algunos ciertos y otros no. Se tiraron con odio prendido fuego. Se dijeron que no se aguantaban, que ella era una inmadura, que el era un descorazonado, que ella era una histerica, que el no sabia manejar su vida, que el no la entendia, que el no se esfrozaba, que el...
Ella no sufrio grandes daños, pero el termino preso durante quince años por intento de asesinato si bien lo que hizo no estuvo ni cerca. Nunca volvio a saber de ella, y no hubiera podido porque tenia una restriccion de trescientos metros. Pero al fin y al cabo, el se recibio finalmente. De abogado penal.

22 de febrero de 2008

Carencias

No tengo voz
No tengo cuerpo
No tengo cerebro
No tengo tinta
No tengo lapicera
No tengo ni siquera papel
No tengo tiempo, no tengo reloj
No tengo sueño
No tengo descanso
No tengo lunas
No tengo sol
No tengo manos
No tengo recuerdos
No tengo cama
No tengo casa
No tengo almas
No tengo hermanas
No tengo enemigas
No tengo libros
No tengo historias
No tengo agua
No tengo sed
No tengo desierto ni jardin del eden
No tengo mapa
No tengo donde regresar
No tengo ropa para cubrir mi piel
No tengo amaneceres para compartir
No tengo boca para reir
No tengo llanto
No tengo poder
No tengo deseos
No tengo ser

Todo resulta tan pasajero, tan volatil, tan superficial
Que suerte que tengo un arbol o dos...

10 de febrero de 2008

1% ... Just 1%

*Nightswimming
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
Turned around backwards so the windshield shows
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge
The moon is low tonight
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday
Nightswimming, remembering that night
September's coming soon
I'm pining for the moon
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming
You, I thought I knew you
You, I cannot judge
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath
Nightswimming
The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night

*Why not smile
The concrete broke your fall
To hear you speak of it
I'd have done anything
I would do anything
I feel like a cartoon brick wall
To hear you speak of it
You've been so sad
It makes me worry
Why not smile?
You've been sad for a while.
Why not smile?
I would do anything
To hear you speak of it.
Why not smile?
You've been sad for a while.
You've been sad for a while.

*Thinking about you
Been thinking about you
Your records a hit
Your eyes are on my wall
Your teeth are over there
But I'm still no one
And you're my star
What do you care?
Been thinking about you
And there's no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself
What do you care?
When the other men are far far better
All the things you've got
All the things you need
Who bought you cigarettes
Who bribed the company to come and see you honey?
I've been thinking about you
So how can you sleep
These people aren't your friends
They're paid to kiss your feet
They don't know what I know
And why should you care
When I'm not there
Been thinking about you
And there's no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself
What do you care?
When I'm not there.
I've been thinking about you
So how can you sleep
These people aren't you're friends
They pay to kiss your feet
But they don't know what I know
What do you care?
When I'm not there.
All the things you've got
That you'll never need
All the things you've got
I've bled and I'd bleed to please you
... honey
Been thinking about you...

*Dreams
Oh my life is changing everyday
Every possible way
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems
I know I felt like this before
But now I’m feeling it even more
Because it came from you
Then I open up and see
The person fumbling here is me
A different way to be
I want more, impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
They’ll come true, impossible not to do
Impossible not to do
Now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don’t hurt me
For what I couldn’t find
Talk to me amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You’re everything to me
Oh my life is changing everyday
Every possible way
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems
’cause you’re a dream to me
Dream to me

*Dress up in you
I'm the singer, I'm the singer in the band
You're the loser, I won't dismiss you out of hand
Cos you've got a beautiful face
It will take you places
You kept running
You've got money, you've got fame
Every morning I see your picture from the train
Now you're an actress!
So says your résumé
You're made of card
You couldn't act your way out of a paper bag
You got lucky, you ain't talking to me now
Little Miss Plucky
Pluck your eyebrows for the crowd
Get on the airplane
You give me stomach pain
I wish that you were here
We would have had a lot to talk about
We had a deal there
We nearly signed it with our blood
An understanding
I thought that you would keep your word
I'm disappointed
I'm aggravated
It's a fault I have, I know
When things don't go my way I have to
Blow up in the face of my rivals
I swear and I rant, I make quite an arrival
The men are surprised by the language
They act so discreet, they are hypocrites so fuck them too!
I always loved you
You always had a lot of style
I'd hate to see you on the pile
Of "nearly-made-it" s
You've got the essence, dear
If I could have a second skin
I'd probably dress up in you
You're a star now, I am fixing people's nails
I'm knitting jumpers, I'm working after hours
I've got a boyfriend, I've got a feeling that he's seeing someone else
He always had thing for you as well
Blow in the face of my rivals
I swear and I rant, I make quite an arrival
The men are surprised by the language
They act so discreet, they are hypocrites forget them
So fuck them too!

*Glycerine
Must be your skin that I'm sinkin in
Must be for real cause now I can feel
and I didn't mind
it's not my kind
not my time to wonder why
everything's gone white
and everything's grey
now your here now you away
I don't want this
remember that
I'll never forget where your at
don't let the days go by
glycerine
I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
are you at one
or do you lie
we live in a wheel
where everyone steals
but when we rise it's like strawberry fields
If I treated you bad
you bruise my face
couldn't love you more
you got a beautiful taste
don't let the days go by
could have been easier on you
I coudn't change though I wanted to
could have been easier by three
our old friend fear and you and me
glycerine
don't let the days go by
glycerine
I needed you more
when we wanted us less
I could not kiss just regress
it might just be
clear simple and plain
that's just fine
that's just one of my names
don't let the days go by
could've been easier on you
glycerine

*Oleo de una mujer con sombrero
Una mujer se ha perdido, concer el delirio y el polvo, se ha perdido esta bella locura su breve cintura debajo de mi, se ha perdido mi forma de amar, se ha perdido mi huella en su mar.
Veo una luz que vacila y promete dejarnos a oscuras, veo un perro ladrando a la luna con otra figura que recuerda a mi, veo mas veo que no me halló, veo mas veo que se perdio.
La cobardia es asunto de los hombres no de los amantes, los amores cobardes no llegan ni amores ni historias se quedan alli, ni el recuerdo los puede salvar, ni el mejor orador consumar.
Una mujer innombrable huye como una gaviota y yo rapido seco mis botas, enciendo una nota y apago el reloj, que me tengo cuidado el amor, que le puedo cantar su cancion.
Una mujer con sombrero, como un cuadro del viejo Chagall corrompiendose al centro del miedo y yo que no soy bueno me puse a llorar, pero entonce lloraba por mi, ahora lloro por verla partir. Pero entonce lloraba por mi, ahora lloro por verla partir.

*Tonight tonight
Time...is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe...believe in me...believe...believe!
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different...tonight...
Tonight...tonight
So bright
Tonight...tonight
And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade
In your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe...believe in me...believe...believe!
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight...
Tonight...tonight
So bright
Tonight...tonight
We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you
Tonight...
Tonight, tonight
Tonight...tonight

*More than words
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

*Yellow
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow
So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry
Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

*Fix you
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

*Stand by you
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Dont be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
cause Ive seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You dont know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
So if youre mad, get mad
Dont hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well Im a lot like you
When youre standing at the crossroads
And dont know which path to choose
Let me come along
cause even if youre wrong
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
Youre feeling all alone
You wont be on your own
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you

9 de febrero de 2008

No me anima ni Liniers

Que sabado mas pequeño, cerrado, oblicuo. Es un insulto a la existencialidad humana, al instinto primitivo de buscar el placer. Es irremediable pensar en suicidarse, en morir durmiendo, taparse los oidos y querer volar fuera del cuerpo. Porque es mas facil sentirse miserable un dia, permanecer en esa inercia absoluta en la cual hacemos notar a todo el mundo lo miserables y desolados que nos sentimos, que nos ahogamos en la perpetuidad del tiempo haciendo lo posible para no volver a vivir en este universo... Solo para luego renacer en un dia de sol bizarro, donde todo de nuevo nos parece de distinto color, donde incluso toleramos las tareas, las zapatillas, las obligaciones de la vida; donde no nos atropellamos por un chocolate o una bolsa de bizcochos o un vaso de "escocés en las rocas"; donde no nos interesa la superficialidad constituida porque nosotros no vemos lo que todos ven y nos reímos de aquellos que no lo vean; donde las nubes tienen forma de elefantes y los gomeros de Miguelito y todos los gatos negros quisieramos que fueran fellini; donde quisieramos mas que nada tener aunque sea un daguerrotipo para guardar desesperadamente un atisbo de la escencia de esos momentos maravillos; donde no nos sentimos identificados con 'Creep'; donde no se divide nuestro ser...
¿Será que todo lo lindo es traicionero y superficial, ya que esos dias, los ultimos solo vienen cuando les conviene, y los otros, los primeros siempre que los necesitamos acuden a nuestro clamar...?

4 de febrero de 2008

Fuera de mi

Azul
Beige
Cereza
Dorado
Electrico
Frío
Gris
Hielo
Indigo
Juguetón
Kirsch
Luz
Morado
Negro
Opaco
Purpura
Queso
Rojo
Salmón
Trigueño
Usado
Verde
White
Xilofón
Yeso
Zapatitos de charol

Angustia
Belleza
Cobardia
Dificultad
Espanto
Fantasía
Grandeza
Humildad
Introspección
Júbilo
Kilometros
Libertad
Malicia
Necedad
Osadía
Presentimiento
Quien
Resentimiento
Siempre
Tenacidad
Ultraje
Vida
WTF
Xilofón
Yawn
ZzZzZzZz

Alfombra
Bufanda
CPU
Dado
Espejo
Funda
Guitarra
Heart - shaped box
Inteligencia
Jabón
Keksi
Lindt
Manteca de cacao
Nieve
Oasis
Papel
Queensryche
Renglones
Sílabas
Tekila
Ustedes
Varios autores
We
X-mas reluctance
Yo
Z300a

Colori, sentimenti, la mia stanza